I went to court today. I sat in a court room with people from all walks of life. All day. I didn’t have a case or an appointment. I was there to support my mom who is a victim of random violence.
While this may not yet be a term or a popular phrase, it really should be. My mom was shopping a few months ago and as she was driving through the parking lot to go to her next stop, she noticed that a woman was walking with her head down - not paying attention to where she was going. The woman was drifting in front of my mom’s van. My mom swerved around her and turned left to leave that particular parking lot.
My mom headed to a fast food drive thru and didn’t think anything else of it.
The woman had apparently gotten so startled when my mom swerved around her that it threw her into a rage.
She followed my mother to the drive thru line, got out of her car and approached my mom’s open drivers side window. Screaming obscenities and accusations that my mom had almost hit her. Mind you, my mom’s car never touched this woman. But she felt that she needed a confrontation. So she got one.
My mom answered her accusations but this woman was not satisfied. She escalated the situation more and more “fuck you you fucking bitch” over and over. My mom matched her rage in a not so unexpected manner - if you know her.
See - my mom is not a sweet old lady. My mom is feisty. My mom could cuss out a sailor. My mom is not afraid of anyone or anything. To her own detriment. While my mom was defending herself verbally, her opponent was no doubt at a loss.
She had seen my mother in the parking lot. My mother is in her mid 60s in a minivan. This woman probably thought “I’ll go tell this old lady to fuck off and I’ll feel like a tough bitch”.
But my mom didn’t back down.
Now let me paint this picture for you. My mother is in the drivers seat as one is in a fast food drive thru situation. The woman is at my mother’s open drivers side window. They are arguing. They are yelling.
My mom had had enough and reached for the automatic window control to roll the window up. She told the woman the conversation was over and the woman reacted by punching my mom in the face. The cheek to be exact.
Here is where I most definitely have a problem. Growing up I’ve seen my mother get into verbal altercations with people all the time. I’m not proud of it. Most of the time it was embarrassing. Sometimes it was funny. Most of the time it became funny years later. My point is my mom may yell at you and curse you out. But she will never lay a hand on you. This woman decided she was not done with the conversation and the fact that my mother was dismissing her must have really hit a nerve for her to react violently.
These 2 women had never met. Never seen each other ever before.
But back to the story. She hit my mom on the cheek cracking her sunglasses. Stunned, the drive thru crew watched on their surveillance cameras. My mom was shocked and silenced. The woman ran back to her car and drove away. My mom drove forward to the window - again, as one does in a drive thru. The attendant exclaimed “that lady just punched you!”
That’s all my mom needed. Someone to confirm the bullshit that had just happened. “Yes. I’ll be right back.”
Don’t ask me how (I wasn’t there. This is all the information I’ve gathered about this event) but my mom was able to peel out of the drive thru & follow her attacker down the street to a grocery store parking lot.
Yeah perfect, another parking lot, right?
The woman inexplicably calls the cops complaining that my mother is following her and parks in front of a tree. My mother parks her car directly behind the woman’s car while she’s on the phone with police at the same time. See my mom knew this woman would never be found if she let her go. So she followed her.
I can’t say I would’ve done the same but I can’t say I wouldn’t have either. It’s one of those things - fight or flight. Imagine you just got sucker punched. And you knew the person would never get punished if you let them go. A part of you would want their license plate number right?
My mom was on the phone with police until they arrived. The woman taunted my mother in the meantime asking her “you parked behind me so I can’t leave?” To which my mom replied “Yeah you’re going to jail!”
The Police arrived and determined that my mother wasn’t injured enough to justify arresting the attacker on the spot. So my mom pressed charges and we were given a court date.
I was with my dad while all this went down and in fact we were waiting for my mom to come back from her errands. My sister called my dad and told him/us what happened.
I have to be honest. Even before hearing the story I knew my mom said something slick and got punched for it. Not that it’s right or justified. I just knew. That’s all.
When we arrived the attacker had already been sent home and the police had moved on to other more important business. My mom was still shaken up.
I was enraged. I wanted to find this woman with every fiber of my body. I was hot inside with anger. I had no outlet for this beast of emotion inside me.
The court date was set for about 2 and a half months after the incident.
That day was today.
I saw her in the court room. This was only an arraignment. To hear her give her plea of no contest. We were waiting all day for her case to be called.
We got there at 9:30 am. Her case was called around 4 pm. The whole day I watched her. Whenever I caught a glimpse of her I paid attention.
When she laughed with her boyfriend and muttered to him that there was no victim in this case, I started to feel that heat.
Except I didn’t act on it. I waited.
Her case was called and she demurely entered her plea. She was slightly disturbed to find out my mother was a well known colleague of the judge and some of the lawyers. The judge offered to recuse himself but the defendant said she was comfortable with him staying on as judge in this case.
He ordered anger management and will sentence her in about 2 months.
We will be in the court room. My mother will speak at that time. My mother is one of the strongest people I know - in spirit. Physically she’s not so strong. My mom has suffered more physical stress because this incident was so traumatizing.
This woman thought my mom was a pushover and when my mom wouldn’t let herself be pushed, this woman resorted to violence.
For “almost” touching her with her van in the parking lot.
This woman showed absolutely no remorse and no shame whatsoever. When the judge told her she could not fight or argue with anyone while waiting for her sentencing, she seemed unphased.
I will be speaking at the sentencing.
You did hit my mom. (She tried to tell the police at the scene that she hadn’t).You may not go to jail. You may not learn anything from this. But you will remember her face. You will remember mine.
And if there is ever a moment when someone sees you as weak or easy prey or as someone to bully - I hope they are more compassionate towards you than you were towards my mother.
Because in all actuality you deserve pain. You deserve to weep for what you have done.
I hope you humble yourself in anger management and realize what kind of monster you were that day.
You put your hands on a fellow mother. Instead of saying your piece/peace and walking away. You attacked another woman.
For no reason.
Random violence …
Senseless. Stupid. Violence.
Nothing worse than older white people imitating other nationalities. I cannot take this office any more. I don’t make racial jokes ever. I don’t laugh at racial jokes.
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Alright Willam, truth time - bianca is hawking the story that she went on drag race because two queens were mean to her backstage at the crowning party or whatever and everyone and their gay brother is saying that it was you and sharon. So is that the truth?
Yea It was Sharon and I. She said it on a podcast too apparently. I don’t remember meeting her but I do know I had a bad night dealing with two very drunk people that made me immediately go find some trade after to get my mood reset by some good D. I do know I’ve never uttered the words “why is ____ here?” about anyone though in regards to queens who’ve not been on RuPaul’s Drag Race- ESPECIALLY since I was standing next to Vicky Vox, who hasn’t been on the show. I’ve spoked to BDR about it and apologized if my first impression was like garage sale panties and we are fine. I enjoy her immensely.